Reversion 2.0

Evangelization is something we are all called to do. The opportunity can arise when you least expect it. For example, I was doing my laundry the other day at the Laundromat in my neighbourhood when I started talking to a lady there, I will call her Sheila to avoid actual names. The conversation turned to religion, which most people avoid like the plague. It came out that this woman, “used to be” a Catholic, but due to some issues that she had, decided that she could worship, pray and read her Bible at home. Her belief was that she could be “Spiritual” without being a part of a large organized religion.

To avoid a long and drawn out story, she asked me 3 questions regarding the faith:

1. How do you explain and justify the evil and hatred in the world?
2. If Jesus is inside my heart and I can find truth and beauty at home, how can you say that he is only in the Church?
3. Can you explain the difference between Catholicism and the other traditions of Christianity?

I had to start in Genesis 3 for this one, and explained that although baptism removes the stain of Original Sin, it still leaves “concupiscence” behind, which is the tendency towards sin, and that there is no justification for the presence of sin. I asked “can you admit that the evil in the world is mankind’s fault?” and she said yes. I replied that if God fixed the problems in the world outright, it would negate free will, and that would negate salvation by choice. She acquiesced to this.

Next I explained the differences between the Church and Protestants, starting with Papal authority. I quoted from Matt 16 where Jesus renames Simon to Peter and asked her if she believed that Jesus was giving special authority to Peter and she said she did. I explained how in John 20 Jesus instructs the Disciples/Apostles to forgive the sins of others in his name and to baptize in the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. I asked her if she believed that the Apostles were given the ability to forgive sins and asked her if our priests could do the same through Apostolic Succession and she said she did. So far so good.

Lastly, I explained how she does find truth at home and I also explained that a lot of Protestants do have truth, my parents for instance display a great faith and love for Jesus outside of the Church. I then asked her if Jesus is in the Eucharist and she said yes. I then said that if Jesus said he was the Truth, and he is present in the Church in His fullness of body, blood, soul and divinity, then the Truth in its fullness is resting in the Church alone, not just as a physical reality, but as a theological reality also. How could the fullness of Truth exist in a Church that did not teach it? Apart from this, outside the Church there are no Sacraments, and if the Truth in its fullness rests in the Church, then the Sacraments of the Church are true and vital also.

Here’s the bottom line. Sheila asked me what she should do then. I was blown away. I don’t think anyone has responded like that to a conversation about the Catholic Church with me before. I had evangelized as a Protestant before but this was entirely new to me as a Catholic. Don’t get me wrong, I talk about the Church, but usually it upsets people and they start talking about gay rights or abortion or some other thing they think the Church is wrong about and I end up defending the faith. This woman was different. Sheila asked me what to do.

I asked her if she was baptized and confirmed and she said she was. I told her to go to Confession and make it a good one and receive the Eucharist after and she was back on track. Sheila looked at me and said that she would go to Confession and receive the Eucharist for the first time in MANY years! We have a Catholic Revert!!

PRAISE THE LORD!!!!!!!!

I cannot contain my excitement!!! What a wonderful work that Jesus did in this woman! She was hurting and empty and searching for the truth, and all she needed was for someone to answer some nagging questions she had in a patient manner. That Jesus would choose me for this work is amazing for me. I am so glad that I was able to be a part of this.

So pray for Sheila that she makes a good Confession and receives the Eucharist without obstacle and that she grows in faith, love and charity in Christ.

Lesson: NEVER give up on anyone. Maybe they say they don’t believe, but you never know. I thought I was going to end up making apologies (in the true sense of the word) for the Church, but Jesus had something so much better in mind. Imagine not receiving Sacraments for years! No thanks!!

Pray for someone you know right now that they find the fullness of truth in the Church. Write their names (real or not, God knows who they are even if I don’t) in the comments section so everyone who reads it can pray for them too.

In Christ Jesus,
Joel

P.S. PRAISE THE LORD!!!!!!!!

Mary Was a Perpetual Virgin Or My Name Isn't...

The Perpetual Virginity of Mary was always a hard sell for me. It wasn't until the last 6 months or so I started to get a handle on it. There are a few reasons why I feel that Mary needed to be a Perpetual Virgin and I will share them to the best of my knowledge and ability, however if I am off track or I contradict the Magisterium, please let me know and I will conform my opinions to those of the Church. Without further ado, the reasons are as follows.

1) Mary was the Ark of the New Covenant.

If you remember the Ark of the Old Covenant, it contained the 10 commandments (Word of God), the manna from the desert (Bread of Life) and Aaron's budding staff (Pastoral Symbolism). We also know that the foreshadowing of the Old Testament always takes a new form: the Word become flesh (John 1), the Passover Lamb becoming human, circumcision becoming baptism (Col 2:9-12). Following this vein, we can see that Mary was foreshadowed by the Ark of the Old Covenant having in her womb the Word of God, the Bread of Life and the Good Shepherd. What other reason for the Old Ark was there? It went before the Israelites through the wilderness and was the first into the waters of the Jordan, thereby allowing the Jews of the second generation to go through the waters as if in Baptism into the Promised Land. Please note the allegory of the Christian life found in the Exodus story. First in slavery to sin (Egypt), set free by the blood of the Lamb (passover), through the waters of Baptism (Red Sea) into the wilderness of the world where we are aliens on our pilgrimage to Heaven (wandering), fed with the Bread of Life and quenched with water from the Rock, given spiritual formation and training in holiness (Sinai and the 10 commandments), fighting against evil forces (defending against tribes in the area), and finally coming to the Promised Land, again through Baptism. The Ark led the way the whole time. So how does Perpetual Virginity work into this? Well, if you touched the Old Ark, you died. It was holy and set apart for God and God alone. It was a beacon, an object of adoration and a declaration of God's favour and provision. Mary likewise then was holy, set apart for God and God alone and is a beacon, object of adoration and a declaration of God's favour and provision. There is a strict "look but don't touch" rule in effect.

2)This was explained to me by my RCIA leader when I was but on my way to becoming a Catechumen because the Perpetual Virginity was high on my list of grievances with the Church.
The Jewish concept of marriage was a little different than what we have today. Anyone who has seen "The Nativity Story" has seen that when a couple became engaged, they were actually married at that point, but until the ceremony they were to refrain from what led to family so the marriage would be pure and there would be no doubt about the bride's virginity. We can see this in the Church today as the Church is the Bride of Christ, but the Marriage feast of the Lamb is spoken of as a future event. However, if the woman became pregnant, the Groom would marry her anyhow (if he knew the baby was his of course).
When it was announced to Mary that she was to conceive God's Son, she was under no illusions as to what that meant. To have someone's child was to be married to them. In her 'yes' Mary agreed to become God's 'spouse'. This makes sense also if Mary is to be the foreshadowing of the Church itself who is to be Christ's Spouse. Joseph therefore was told to take her into his house anyhow so that the baby would have a father and so God's Spouse would not be put to shame. Having said this, Joseph was a devout man the Gospels say and as a devout man, how could he in good consience have sexual relations with someone else's spouse? Mary had no other Children and remained a Virgin Perpetually because she became God's Spouse, prefiguring the marriage of Christ to the Church.

The question of Matt 1:25 came up to me also. It says:
"but had no marital relations with her until she had borne a son; and he named him Jesus."
What about the word "until"? I asked my Priest this question and he answered me thusly: In modern English the word until is used conditionally, that is to imply that whatever condition existed before no longer existed after. The original use of the word did not have this connotation of condition to it. Simply understood, when the author says 'until she bore a Son', he is trying to emphasize that she did not have relations with anyone, not even her own (earthly) husband so there would be no disputing that the child was of divine origin, not to imply this situation changed afterwards. I am quite satisfied with that explaination.

3) In the Garden of Eden, the Man was given the job of heading up the human family (which is more of a curse than a blessing if you are reading this as a feminist). If you will read Gen 3, you will find that Eve cursed herself and the relationships she will have as a result of being tricked, but since Adam chose sin over God, the whole of creation was damned. Sin entered into the world through the man only. This is one of the reasons that the Jewish faith is passed through the Mother only, because Original Sin is passed through the man. This is also the reason why Christ did not have an earthly father in a biological sense. He could not be scarred by sin in order to be our spotless sacrifice. Having said all this, Mary was the new Eve. In Gen 3 Adam named the woman Eve because she was the mother of all living. Likewise as the mother of all living in Christ, she is the new Eve. Therefore she is subject to Christ alone as he is the new Adam (1 Cor 15:35-50). To have sexual relations with anyone else would be to submit to or to put herself into subjection to the body of sin.
I was reading D.G.D. Davidson's conversion story at www.scificatholic.com yesterday, and I noted specifically his ponderings on birth control. My wife asked why we don't allow barrier methods as they do not abort or cause medical complications. I referred to Gen 38 and the story of Tamar, the wife of Judah's son. Judah's son Er was struck down by God for being evil, so his brother Onan was told to go and 'raise up offspring for his brother' by making Tamar his wife. It is said then that Onan practiced the 'withdrawal method' and spilled his seed on the ground (every time it says). God struck him dead for this also. Why? because he refused to give of himself to the woman, he only took. It was the ultimate way to use and mistreat the woman in his day and age. Likewise, barrier methods of birth control have in fact perfected this feat of using, abusing and demeaning by now allowing the man to 'complete the act' without in fact giving of himself at all. Barrier methods allow men to steal more effectively from women. What does this have to do with the Perpetual Virginity of Mary? Well, if denying the gift of himself is evil, then a man does good by giving of himself, by giving of his flesh to his wife if you will for the purpose of creating a new life within her. Since the sacrament of marriage is a foreshadowing of our marriage (in the Church) to Christ, and Christ always does what is good, he gives of his flesh to his bride, the Church, for the purpose of creating a new life within her, both collectively and individually speaking. Finally, as previously mentioned, as the foreshadow of the Church, Mary accepts "the Flesh of God" as the creation of a new life within her. To accept another flesh less than that of God after this is unthinkable and unnacceptable.

4)Like Divine Revelation, the doctrines about Mary are trinitarian to a certain degree. They are Immaculate Conception, Perpetual Virginity and Assumption into Heaven. Mary was Immaculately conceived as I understand as a singular grace given in advance for what Christ was about to do (and had in fact accomplished as he is Divine, outside of the bounds of time and therefore everything is now to Him) so redeeming her also. If she did not receive this grace, Perpetual Virginity and Assumption would be impossible. To be without stain of Original Sin meant that she committed no actual or personal sins. This meant that she was without concupicence or tendency towards sin, and therefore capable of remaining pure in every sense. This also means, since the wages of sin is death (Rom 3:23), then she was free to be assumed into Heaven because she had no sin to be paid for.
What this all means is that if you attack or deny Perpetual Virginity, you then also deny the Immaculate Conception and the Assumption. By saying she did not remain a Virgin is to say that she was capable of sinning, and that means she was not born free of concupicence, and therefore not born free of Original Sin. What this also implies is that she had sinned and therefore was capable of dying. Even farther, if Mary sinned, Christ was also marked by sin and could not be our sacrifice for sin, and this would make his death useless and deny also the resurrection due to the fact the resurrection relies on the assertion that Christ was in fact sinless.
There is a good reason that the Church declares these things Dogmas of the Church; because if you deny one of them the whole of the faith unravels and is left a sham.

1 Cor 15:17-19
17 If Christ has not been raised, your faith is futile and you are still in your sins. 18 Then those also who have died in Christ have perished. 19 If for this life only we have hoped in Christ, we are of all people most to be pitied.

I hope this has helped you out! I had a lot of fun writing it, and putting it all together on 'paper' helps me solidify my own view.

In Christ Jesus the Risen Lord
Joel

Protestantism Is A Lifeboat On Stormy Seas

In my Protestant experience, compared with my faith deconstruction of my young adult years, Christianity was a Lifeboat. It preserved me from drowning in the stormy seas of life, and kept my soul afloat even when I couldn't see bottom. The great thing about a lifeboat is that it is the feeling of security and hope, knowing you're safe for now and hoping that you will be rescued from the terrible perdicament surrounding you.
However, the drawbacks are large.

The lifeboat analogy reminds me of an author named Don Miller. He is not a Catholic himself, but he has some brilliant insights on conversion and Christianity in general. In his book "Searching for God Knows What" he details in some length his own conversion story. This book is so frank and honest, it literally blew my mind and totally changed my life. No exaggeration. Anyhow I digress.
In the book he uses an analogy called the Lifeboat theory. It says that the world is behaving as if it is in a lifeboat and that all our selfish behaviours stem from the desire to impress others so as to raise our status in the lifeboat, so if the time comes to throw someone out of the lifeboat for some reason, it won't be us. The Pharisees of Jesus' day are a good example of Lifeboat theory in action: "Thank you God for not making me like other men.", walking around with sad faces so you know they are fasting and are therefore more holy than thou, etc. The analogy explains that Jesus is the ultimate anti-Lifeboat. He didn't care what others thought, only what the Father willed. He didn't need status, only holiness and he didn't need validation from others, only the Father's favour (which was given). He stands outside of the Lifeboat beckoning us to abandon our vain attempts to jockey for position inside the Lifeboat, abandon the sense of fear and pride that keeps us in the Lifeboat. Once we step outside the Lifeboat, suddenly nothing else but Jesus matters anymore and we have nothing to be ashamed of except for what went on in the Lifeboat.

What does any of this have to do with being a Protestant you ask? Well, although Mr. Miller does not take the analogy this far, I would assert that Protestants are in their own Lifeboat of sorts, we'll call it the S.S. Luther for the sake of humour (S.S. standing for sola scriptura of course). They sail along in it thankful they are not swimming in vain for their lives as they did without their Saviour, they ration their available provisions as frugally as possible to make what they have go further, and they throw overboard everything that isn't necessary for survival to lighten the load. This is simply prudent action in a storm tossed sea, but to my amazement, they do all this in plain sight of a lush tropical island with plenty of food, shelter and fresh water. The island of course is the Catholic Church. It is a bastion of truth and graces, with more than we could possibly need to survive and best of all, it is where the Creator of the universe is actually present. The Island is frequently buffeted by hurricanes of anger from the harsh environment and is subject to frequent earthquakes, but we know that we will not drown in the rain, nor since our Saviour is present, will we sink into the oceans around us. We are truly safe on the island.

At some point in the past, I guess Luther figured that the Island was being overrun with dogs and built a Lifeboat (named after himself of course) and put out to sea until the dog problem was taken care of, but after spending so much time at sea, I guess he couldn't find his way back. Protestants born in the boat or who swim to it are told of all the horror stories about how the Island is an inhospitable place that isn't what it started out as or was intended to be and unfortunately the Catholics who continue to quit the island are all to ready to confirm these misconceptions either by ignorance or vehemence.

I bring this story up at all because of the wonderful responses I received about my previous post Salvation Ave. where I was in a bit of a theological pickle. Everybody was helpful to the best of their ability and gave extra resources where they could and I was truly touched. We in the Catholic Church, and fellow converts especially, know that we are all on the same island, for better or worse and are in unity under the Eucharist and the Magisterium. We are happy to help out a Christian sibling without condecension, arrogance or fear that somehow even having the conversation is a temptation from the Evil One, and I appreciate it very much.
On the other hand, I unfortunately did not find this trait in the "S.S. Luther". I found that if you struggled with something, people were sometimes 'surprised' you didn't know something, prepared to duke it out with you theologically with one finger pointed at you and the other stuck in Romans 8 (you former Calvinists know exactly what this passage is), or ready to give you the textbook answers to demonstrate how much they knew and how together their life is and how if you were a really strong Christian and knew your Bible better you wouldn't be having this quandry. The textbook answers include but are not limited to:

• 'well pray about it'
• 'read your Bible'
• 'don't give in to Satan and his lies, trust in Jesus'
• and the overused and abused 'I guess we'll find out when we get to Heaven'

All this crap is just a game, just something they use to feel like they are ahead in the Lifeboat so if the Arminians are actually right they aren't the first in line to cry "Lord, Lord" before being tossed into the Lake of Fire. I know this because I did it. So did my friends. So did the people at Church. It's all done in the name of 'Christian Unity' and 'Edification of the Body of Christ' which is why it stings so bad when you get pricked by their thorns.

When I bailed on the S.S. Luther (I was in the Baptist row, which was obviously in the front because it would be impossible to be thrown out of the Lifeboat unless you were never in the Lifeboat to begin with) I tried to make a swim for it. When I tired of swimming against the current, I lay on my back and rested and the storm washed me ashore on the Island of the Church. Thankfully I didn't have to get back in the boat, looking like something the cat dragged in. Jesus gave me another option. The option was complete surrender to the Lord and the Laws of the Island in exchange for perfect peace and safety, and Communion with my Lord. Obviously, the island isn't without it's dangers or pitfalls, but when I am struggling to make my way, I know that I have the help and support of all my siblings on the island and all the siblings past who are still present on the Island even if not physically.
As Father John Corapi, S.O.L.T. said once "1000 struggles still does not equal one single doubt. I struggle with things all the time, and boy do I struggle. That does not mean however that I have doubted". I hope to be able to help you all when you struggle, as you helped me.

In Christ Jesus
Joel

Salvation Ave.

I was recently reading a blog from a convert confirmed yesterday named Matt. His blog Absolutely No Spin details his conversion among other things. He noted that he was confirmed in a Tridentine Rite Church (mass entirely in Latin as per the 1962 Missal) and as a part of this Rite, he was required to make a rather thorough Profession of Faith in which he had to profess the following:

"This same Catholic faith, outside of which nobody can be saved, which I now freely profess and to which I truly adhere"

Clearly this Profession claims that there is no Salvation outside of the loving arms of Mother Church. Having already reconciled with Rome myself, I have no issue with this statement personally. Surely also, Jesus says in John 6 that "if you do not eat my flesh and drink my blood you have no life in you" and that to eat his flesh and drink his blood is to "Abide in him" as He abides in his father. Again in John 15 he says he is the True Vine and we who "Abide in him" are the branches and apart fom him we cannot do anything and are cut off and after withering are thrown into the fire to be burned. Scriptures seem to support this thought.

What then about the rest of my family? They are all still Evangelicals who reject the Church. My wife and I are the best examples of Catholics we can be with the grace of God, but now in the light of this profession, should I feel the "immediacy of the Gospel" to share with them as they are destined for Hell?
What then about the marks of grace in their life? I know them well and I see how God touches their lives. They truly love God and his written word and would surely die for his name's sake in a heartbeat if they had to. How then can we say that they are damned outside of the Church?
Certainly, I do not suggest that they are fine as they are. If I saw fit to swim the Tiber, I believe then that every Christian should do the same. If I didn't, it would have been pointless to have been confirmed in the first place. However that every Christian must make that same swim is something else entirely.
The way I have understood it thus far is that Christians are people who believe that Jesus was God and Man, came from heaven to die for our sins, that the Blood of the New Covenant that he shed is the only way to the Father and who are baptized and profess Christ crucified, buried and resurrected. If though they are not in Communion with the Church, they have no recourse to proper Confession and therefore will spend a while in Purgatory. I don't know any true Christian who does not say an Act of Contrition on a regular basis, so does this mediate mortal sin?
If anyone has any thoughts or definitive answers from the Magisterium on this issue, please let me know. I have to know so I can approach my Family and friends accordingly.

In Christ Jesus the Risen Lord
Joel

Coming to the Catholic Church: the De and Re of Construction

Hi, my name is Joel and this is my blog.

I promised to write my conversion story for Easter so here it is. Please note that all Protestant buzz words are in italics.
I was an Evangelical. Not just any old evangelical, but the son of two parents who were trained to be Baptist Missionaries. It gets more interesting than that. My GreatGrandfather was a Methodist and his son, my Grandfather, became a Catholic. My father was raised a Catholic and then had a "born again" experience outside the Church and has been a Baptist ever since. I was raised an Evangelical Baptist as a result.

It was Sola Scriptura all the way for me. What else could there be? We knew the Bible was true because it was the Word of God, and as my father says "it is a dangerous game to accept anything that is unbiblical." What else could you possibly need more than the Word of God itself?
Becoming a Christian was really straight forward. You acknowledge your sin, ask Jesus to take it away and come into your heart to be your Personal Lord and Saviour and you are magically and forever a Christian and according to Romans 8:29-30 you were always going to be. If you hadn't said some variation of these words you simply were not a Christian by our definition.
When I met my wife I was 14 years old. We met at a youth group in town and we started to talk. When I found out that she was a Catholic, I asked "but are you a Christian"? She replied that she was, and I further asked "so you have a personal relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ"? She replied she did. This confused me at the time because I was sure that being Born Again and being a Catholic were mutually exclusive since this is what I learned from my father.

I started to fall away from Christ in the last couple of years before I left home for University. There seemed to me to be so many more important things to do that Christianity didn't seem to address in practice. It seemed like missionaries went to other countries and taught them about Jesus and left again, like they didn't need anything else aside from the assurance of Heaven. I always had a leaning to the left and I admired greatly certain Communists, especially Ernesto Guevarra, or “Che” as he is known, because of his extraordinary compassion for simple human beings due to the fact that they were in fact simple human beings. I went further into this doctrine and pushed Christ further away, while at the same time professing Christ with my mouth because this is what was expected of me after all.

When I moved away from home I went to Hamilton, Ontario to go to McMaster. It was here that my mind was awakened to schools of thought and ideas I had never dreamed existed before. I said to myself that I would scrap Christianity altogether, and step back and decide for myself if it was the truth or not, because there was a pile of other things to consider besides Jesus. I met gay people for the first time, and realized that they were indeed people after all, and not sinful monsters who needed to be shunned. It was a dose of perspective that was refreshing and scary at the same time. What had I wasted my time on before?! Think of the things I could have been doing with myself that I had shut out before! I discovered that I really did like drinking myself stupid, smoking cigarettes into the wee hours of the morning, and smoking so much dope my eyes rolled into the back of my head. I had decided that to make myself truly happy, I was going to do things that actually made me happy. It was so elementary to me. 1+1=2 and doing things that made me happy would actually make me happy.

I will spare many of the details of the Hamilton experience because they are not necessary. Here are the important ones.

· I failed out of University because my lifestyle made it impossible to succeed in that environment

· I subsequently failed out of Mohawk College in the Engineering program there as well for the same reasons

· I was broke all the time because I blew my money on smokes and pot and sometimes beer

· I was constantly behind on my rent

· I moved into ever greater squalor each time I moved, and that was often

· I didn’t have any real friends besides one girl and her friends. She was a Wiccan priestess and had suffered a similar fate as me with school. She eventually moved back to Ottawa, where she was from, and I haven’t heard much from her since. She was such a cancer in my life, and I am glad to have had it removed.

I had philosophically dissected the world and realized that there wasn’t much hope of anything outside of myself, so I devoted my life to myself and the things which furthered the goal of pleasing myself

My life had fallen apart as my faith had fallen apart. I could think of no other reason for it’s collapse other that my rejection of faith. What was it really that made me succeed in school, and life, before? I really didn’t think that I had done anything or thought anything too different from when I was at home, except that there was no one around to force me to accept things I found unpalatable and ridiculous. Who was God to say really that there was no reason for existence aside from him?

This is when things started to turn. After an unfortunate incident involving too much vodka and some decongestants (it was a total accident and I was just careless), I awoke face down on my bed in a very bad way. If I had fallen on my back, I would simply not be here. Why did I survive? Why had I been given a second chance? Plenty of other people who lived like I did, died from similar incidents, Jimmy Hendrix to name one. I was frightened because I was convinced that I would have had to answer for everything I had done. I was also frustrated with the thought because at the time I refused to accept the fact that there was really someone to answer to, let alone a reason for having to answer to anything.

I started to do some serious thinking. The only thing that I could say for sure the whole time before and during this time was that I simply could not accept that everything evolved, on its own, out of nothing. Both metaphysically and intellectually this was something I could not accept. Metaphysically for no other reason than something inside me recognized the handiwork of a designer when I saw it. I could not accept unassisted evolution intellectually because if you have a closed system of anything, it tends towards increasing randomness and thus increasing Entropy. Increasing the order of the arrangement of atoms and molecules required ever increasing inputs of energy and control that I could not see ever having existed without something infusing the energy into the system in real-time. The bottom line was that there was a creative force in the universe, and that I was a product of that force, whether it was some Great Spirit or the Triune God of Christianity or whatever else it could have been.

It was around this time that my long-term, long-distance girlfriend (who would become my wife later on) was having difficulty medically speaking and I was not there to care for her, because I lived too far away. I was really worried about her condition, so I went to the only place that spoke to me, which was the Cathedral of Christ the King in Hamilton; it is the Catholic diocese center for the Hamilton area. I was not a Catholic by any stretch of the imagination, but I thought that it would be a quiet place in the middle of the day to collect my thoughts about my girlfriend and to ask God, if he existed, to help her because she had not rejected him as I had, and it was not fair for her to suffer for my issues. How could she not though? I am not an island as I had hoped I was to some extent, and everything I did, both positive and negative, was having an effect on her whether it was obvious or not. A deacon of the Catholic Church was in the sanctuary and came to talk to me. I told him I was not a Catholic and told him what I was concerned about. He told me he would pray for my girlfriend, and this honestly comforted me a great deal. He also asked me why I was in a Catholic Church if I didn’t believe in it. I had no real answer for him other than the Cathedral of Christ the King is on the Highway 403 and is only the most visible church in the city from the downtown area and by McMaster. However, I felt at the time, that there was some other force at work that I didn’t know about and that I didn’t want to recognize anyway.

After this time, I did some more thinking. If the Universe was an infinite expanse (even if the material had a boundary there was no conceivable boundary of everything), there was likely an infinite being. This was not a necessary conclusion however until later. In comparison to infinity, the finite is relative to zero. This is a first principle of calculus. Therefore, in comparison to the infinity of the universe, human beings mean squat. I was shocked to find I actually meant nothing. Now, even the lifestyle I was living was void of meaning, if I in fact did not mean anything. However, I was sure I did mean something because I did not die before. The only conclusion I found was that I meant something to an infinite being. This was necessary because if everything finite is relative to nothing in the scope of infinity then the only thing that really mattered was infinity itself. It was the only comparable thing. Also, if I had really mattered in the scope if an infinite universe, the infinite would not have mattered at all or there would have been no need for an infinity at all. However, I knew that in the scope of infinity, people meant nothing, but in fact we really did matter. This is when it struck me that there was an infinite being and he was God, because we mattered to him and therefore we really do matter. We don’t matter so therefore God matters, however we matter to God so we matter. Therefore we matter for the very reason that we mean nothing in the scope of the universe. In our not meaning anything, God means everything and because we matter to God we matter at all.

What a revolution this was to me! A total paradox is the only infinite truth there is. Why? Because if it really makes no sense, it tells me that a finite human did not make it up, but was rather revealed by a higher source of infinite wisdom. As the author G.K. Chesterton says, (in paraphrase) the only way to stay truly sane is to believe in mystery, because by making one thing incomprehensible, everything else is comprehensible in the light of that which we do not comprehend. People who strive for reason only are lunatics. Lunatics are not unreasonable at all; for instance, they know exactly why they believe, that the whole world is out to get them. Their logic is impossible to argue except to say that there is something outside the logic that they do not comprehend, which disproves their insane claim. This is one reason why I decided to join the Catholic Church.

The other reason I joined the Catholic Church was that I had discovered the Eucharist and believed that the Real Presence of Jesus Christ is actually trans-substantially present. I found this out by being open to the idea enough to eat it, and it was amazing. I told my girlfriend what had happened and she was amazed and delighted at what God was doing in my life, but informed me that the Eucharist is for baptized and confirmed Catholics only. She explained that because it is Jesus in His Body, Blood, Soul and Divinity that we couldn't be handing it out without due care and diligence as we had done at my old Baptist Church. I instantly understood as I now knew that Jesus was there.
At the time, it seemed to me to be the most unreasonable choice there was in the entire universe, and therefore the highest source of infinite truth. I was confirmed at Saint Patrick's Roman Catholic Church on the 10^th of April 2004 and I have never regretted it.

This was only the start of my Journey however. There were no spiritual pat answers given to me by the RCC, so I had to search for the answers myself. I had to make the effort to go to church to seek him instead of awaiting some vision or revelation from Him. I had to do the work. Part of my journey was also the realization that the Sacraments of the Catholic Church were not empty rituals as I had thought before, but filled with meaning and purpose. So much so, I could not comprehend it’s scope. I think that this is partly what James meant in his letter by saying that faith without works is dead. The Sacraments are the doing part of the faith. The ritual is designed to act out a particular part of the faith; it is a vehicle for us to actually DO Christianity and to meet Christ in a real and personal way in the act. James writes that through the doing, the faith is brought to completion and that there is no life in faith that has nothing acted upon for it’s completion.

So how does St. Patrick fit in to all this? Simply put, we have similar stories to a point. St. Patrick was a boy when Irish pirates kidnapped him from his Scottish home and took him away to slavery. When he escaped he returned home, and subsequently found the Gospel. Newly converted, he returned to Ireland and converted practically the whole island, and in so doing, founded one of the most enduring and fiercely Catholic nations in history.
When I was a boy, I left home in Jesus and found myself in slavery to myself. When I escaped and returned home, I found myself in the Holy Catholic Church of Christ because of his Gospel and the Eucharist. I am then reminded by Saint Patrick of the need to go to those who have wronged me and be the Gospel for them.

I have learned so much about the Church since. I have crossed some serious hurdles in my faith journey including but not limited to the following: the place of the Blessed Virgin Mary, her immaculate conception, her assumption into heaven, the communion of saints, infant baptism, realizing the untruth of the "rapture" theology, the Oral Tradition of the Church among others.

This is my story and I am glad to be Catholic now. The grace of God in the Sacraments is an untold blessing.
I hope you have a blessed Easter season, as I'm sure I will. I'm turning 3 as a Catholic this year.

Sincerely,

Joel